Fear and Loathing in the Mojave Part 1

Punk Johnny Cash Gonzo, Satire 1 Comment

Fear and loathing in the mojave

I was on a hiatus from the Marine Corps.  Most civilians would call it AWOL (absent without leave), in the Marines it is a U.A. (unauthorized absence).  I was frustrated and irritated with the powers that be and the imposition on my person so I decided that instead of showing up for formation the next morning I would go off to LA, Hollywood.  I was stationed in twenty nine palms California.  This sounds luxurious but it is nothing more than the butt crack of the Mojave Desert.  I gathered a few items, shoved my cash into my jungle boots threw on an old Never Mind the Bollocks T-Shirt a pair of jeans and my jacket to head out.

The Taxi cabs were abundant in the Mojave at least around the base where there was a plethora of young men without transportation destination of purpose just the drive to find vagina and get drunk.  In a desert where the average citizen was an 18 to 26 year old Marine Male the Vagina to penis ratio was slightly out of whack, and the vulgar part was that it was never hard for men to find those few vaginas.  I won’t speak of the cleanliness of these vagina’s just the fact that they were making themselves available to our young Marines, possibly as a service to their country.  Even the wife’s of the Marines were providing this service to many young jarheads.  I hope some of those young women read this and realize how much their husbands appreciated their selfless act of tending to his fellow Marines.  What Patriots.  What morale.  What dedication.

Ah, the desert

So I started the weekend off in a little two bedroom ranch decorated in Natty Light cans, empty whiskey bottles, vomit and used prophylactics.  We frequented the bars.  Casey was one of those big skinheads that spent time in Prison.  The kind with bolts on his ankles.  That is two lightning bolts or Hitler’s own little SS mark.  He was also a rowdy old man.  We made it to one of the more popular desert bars full of yuppies, Marines, and loose women.  After a few pitchers we started to pee in the empty pitchers in the corner of the bar, as this is extremely logical when one is as drunk and strung out as we were at the time.  Public urination is often seen in such an opprobrious light when one is sober.

Amongst the drunken chaos and public urination an undercover NARC approached me attempting his best to be hip with his out of date 80′s Magnum P.I. mustache, and duck-tailed hair.  He wore his Hawaiian shirt and pilot jacket as a badge of coolness.  My only guess would be that he thought someone as hyper and chaotic as I was would be on cocaine.  But the reality was that at that point all I had done was drink and pop a half a dozen caffeine pills.  He began to ask for some “Go Fast”  I tried not to laugh as I explained to him that nobody in this decade refers to cocaine as “Go Fast”  and that he might need a new approach to actually be effective.

As I left his company I returned to my friends who had ran into quite a dilemma.  We had too many pitchers and some were not full of beer but piss.  What on earth would we do with all these pitchers of piss?  One guy suggested we pour it down the toilet.  Another suggested we pour it on the floor.  I could not imagine letting all that fresh warm piss go to waste like that.

I caroused the bar until I came upon a table of drunk jarheads.  They were plastered, almost incoherent.  I walked up to them and asked if they were Marines.  They gave me an Ooh Rah!  I said how proud I was of them and gave the the warm pitcher.  The guy who took it had blood shot eyes wobbling in his seat.  He gave me the thumbs up as he drank directly from the warm pitcher of piss.  He smiled at me.  I was in shock.  I hoped I never got to the point where I was drinking such filth mindlessly.  Ah drunken ignorance.  I returned to my group who was laughing about the incident where we began to break beer bottles over each others heads.  The management were nervous and upset with us at this point.  We were kicked out.  Ranting and yelling throwing beer bottles all over the bar we stormed out taking our pitchers with us.

It was liberating to haul out of the parking lot and off into the desert in Casey’s old truck sipping from my pitcher of beer.  The night wen on like most nights when you are drunk and rowdy.  We made it back to the little house we were staying where we commenced with breaking stuff and drinking.  After the weekend I woke up in a miserable way.  Then only cure was to walk up to the Down Town Josh, a little bar I liked to visit in the mornings and get a coffee and a beer.  This is a great breakfast for any jarhead, especially one that was UA.  It was there that I came up with the great idea to go to L.A..  It was one of those moments of clarity you so often get after six or eight beers.

There was a little bus you could catch from twentynine palms out to Joshua Tree and then on off to Palm Springs.  I caught it.  Once in Palm Springs I was dropped off in front of the Grey Hound station where I bought a ticket to Los Angeles….

More to come in a future post.

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Overstock sues brokers

Deseret News (Salt Lake City) February 3, 2007 | Danny King Bloomberg News Overstock.com Inc., the online seller of excess inventory, sued Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and other brokers, saying they caused the company’s shares to drop by manipulating the stock market. web site overstock coupon code

The Salt Lake-based company, led by Chief Executive Officer Patrick Byrne, is seeking $3.48 billion in damages. The brokers violated California securities laws, Overstock said in a complaint filed in a state court in San Francisco.

Byrne has accused others of driving down Overstock’s shares before. He charged hedge funds, analysts and financial journalists with spreading negative information about his company to benefit short sellers, who bet Overstock’s shares would fall.

Overstock “may quickly find out they bit off more than they can chew,” said John Coffee, director of the Center on Corporate Governance at Columbia University Law School. “This is an extremely unpromising litigation.” Byrne is Overstock’s biggest shareholder, with about 29 percent of the stock. His holdings of 6.82 million shares are valued at $103 million at Friday’s $15.11 stock price in Nasdaq Stock Market composite trading. The shares have declined 65 percent in the past two years.

Overstock also sued Bank of New York Co.; Citigroup Inc.; Deutsche Bank Securities Inc.; and Merrill Lynch & Co., among others. Other Overstock shareholders have joined in the suit, the company said.

The brokerages “have and continue to participate in a massive illegal stock market manipulation scheme,” the company said in the complaint, filed by San Francisco firm Stein & Lubin LLP. The brokerages tried to profit from falling prices by selling shares without borrowing stock, Overstock said. The practice is called naked short selling.

Morgan Stanley spokeswoman Jeanmarie McFadden declined to comment, as did Danielle Romero-Apsilos at Citigroup, Elaine Everhart at Bank of New York, Merrill Lynch’s Mark Herr and Ted Meyer at Deutsche Bank. Goldman Sachs spokesman Peter Rose said the company won’t talk about pending litigation.

Traditional short sellers borrow stock through a broker and hope to profit by selling shares high and later buying them back at lower prices to repay the loan.

In naked shorting, traders who try to profit from falling prices sell shares without borrowing stock. Using that strategy, naked short sellers can drive down prices by flooding the market with orders to sell shares they don’t have. overstockcouponcodenow.org overstock coupon code

Since at least January 2005, large quantities of Overstock stock have been subject to naked short selling, in some cases more than the 23.4 million total shares outstanding, the company said in the suit. That has subsequently created “immense downward pressure on the price of Overstock’s stock.” Overstock sued Gradient Analytics Inc., which sells research to hedge and mutual funds, in August 2005, saying it colluded with hedge fund Rocker Partners LLC to issue research aimed at driving down Overstock shares. Both have denied wrongdoing.

Traders have sold short 5.1 million Overstock shares, or about 35 percent of the shares available for trading, according to January data from the Nasdaq.

The company is scheduled to report fourth-quarter earnings next week. Overstock’s loss per share will be wider than analyst estimates because of a drop in shoppers, said William Lennan, principal at First Albany Capital, in a note Thursday.

Contributing: Joseph N. DiStefano, Elizabeth Hester, Rick Green, Gary Matsumoto, Brian Sullivan, Bob Drummond Danny King Bloomberg News

Punk Johnny CashFear and Loathing in the Mojave Part 1

Comments 1

  1. sarah bee

    haha, i'm currently in baghdad, but stationed at ft leonard wood, mo, and it never ceases to amaze me…i wonder from time to time, "who would sleep with this freak, or that guy..?", which is quickly answered by some fine, patriotic methhead..or here in iraq, some hard-up, self-loathing teenage filipino laundry maid, heh…

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