Vote for Punk Johnny Cash for a brighter tomorrow!

I wrote myself in today for Democratic party committeeman & County Legislature I wonder If I’m going to win. Just in case I am writing a late but much needed party platform. I’m perfecting my platform.  My proposal for Northeast Kansas City, Evict the wealthy at once! Most specifically the ones in politics that hold the power. We should start withJ.J. Rizzo and Wil Royster. Use their homes for prostitutes. This way prostitution in Northeast Kansas City will be inviting for all the wealthy Johnson county men who like to come up and visit in the evenings. We can run little 24 hour fart and fucks for all the rich suburbanites looking to blow a load.

Tax the Johns! These bastards are coming into the northeast for a service they should also be paying the city!

The Scarritt Neighborhood Association will love this. They won’t have to worry about “prostitution in the streets” that they always complain about and they can even put a little parks and recreation tax in there to help keep the renters and migrants out of their parks. They  can get a little bit of money to pay police to raid homes that may be doing stuff they don’t approve of, that way we can fill the jails with people we don’t like.

The second and possibly one of the most important things I will be running on is “Fuck the Cops!” those douchebags drag race down my street doing doughnuts and every other reckless moronic hick stunt. I’d rather take my chances with the dumb kids who think they joined a gang in the Midwest.

My next thing will be drugs. Legalize them all! Hell, give crack to the school children. And by the sage wisdom of Bill O’Reilly that the minute we let drugs legal the preschools will run red with the blood of toddlers.

We can sell all our favorite drugs in the liquor stores and 7-11 stores along the avenue. This will end raiding peoples houses so the neighborhood association won’t have to get all pissy about empty buildings in the neighborhood as much.

The last and most important thing in my party platform is squatters rights. This will also address the pissy home owners and the “empty building” fear they all have. I drive up and down the Avenue all the time and I see homeless people everywhere. I also see a shit load of abandoned buildings that belong to no one. Some bank has a piece of paper they say gives the right to keep people out. I declare end that bullshit. String the bankers up by their balls and let the property go to whoever can take care of it. Allow squatters to take ownership of abandoned property. Overnight we end the homeless and the prostitutes on the streets.

A vote for Punk Johnny Cash is a vote for another asshole who realizes assholes in politics don’t give a shit about you.