Crying Eagle | 6 Reasons I Cry For This Great Country

I am the Crying Eagle, you know me. You see me on the back of pickup trucks all across our great nation. I’m on roadside billboards in the true heart of America like rural Indiana. I am the symbol of freedom, and my heart is broken. Through the eighties I cried every time one of those liberal feminists got an abortion. Now I cry for far more. I cry for my great nation each and every day. I was asked by the decadent liberal anarchists and libertarians at Gonzo Times to come here to help give more of a fair and balanced perspective. I was asked to start by telling all of you just why I cry so I decided to give you the top reasons I cry.

 
 

1. My Flag

I cry every time a Muslim leader disgraces my nations flag by bowing before kings. I cry every time someone soils, burns or disrespects my Red White and Blue. It is the symbol of freedom! We Americans are a nation of logic and common sense other countries and liberals are not. We shed blood for that flag, where other countries kill out of hate for theirs, do you see the difference? It is a symbol of our freedom. The freedom we shot the hell out of everyone else for.

 
 

2. Racism Against Whites

I cry every time I see a black woman or a Mexican get a job that belongs to the obviously more qualified white man. I cry every time that we are forced to hear some Un-American language on the soil of our great country. And after that racism those liberals dare call the white man racist. I stand for what is right, good and American not against people because of skin color. I stand against the evils they bring to our culture. If you don’t want Muslims building their Mosques so they can train people to kill white Americans because they hate our way of life you are called racist and that makes me cry.

 
 

3. Mexican Invasion

I cry every time I see a damn Illegal invading our homes. They only want to rape, kill and get welfare. And because I want to stop that I am once again affected by #2 I am called a racist. Am I racist because Mexicans steal, kill and mooch off of welfare? I cry every time those Mexicans get the job of a hard working American! They are destroying the economy! They broke our rules and we will not stand for people not doing as we dictate! They are Illegal!

 
 

4. Damn Commie Socialists

I cry every time I see a damn commie socialist. They want to build mosques and force all of us to eat nothing but bread and roses! Liberalism is a disease! And Communism and Socialism are only two of the symptoms. Did you know Socialists only want to kill you? Did you know all socialists only want you to loose all your rights, like the right to segregate? Sure they say they oppose war and I support the Wars and Police power but who else will protect me from those damn murderous Socialists! I’m not the dangerous one, I only like good government, the kind that kills.
 
 

5. Gays

Those damn Gay people want special rights! They expect to get married like we do. They want to rape our children and make them all gays! It’s a secret Zionist plot against America From the Socialists! They want to make us all gays so we won’t have more kids. That way they won’t have to conquer the greatest superpower on earth. All our soldiers will be too distracted having secks with each other and unable to procreate or replenish our military because gays can’t make babies!

 
 

6. Obama

I sit in my living room looking at the pictures of our great presidents we have had over the years and see that one dark blemish. It’s the Muslim Illegal Alien Obama! I can’t get a drivers license without a birth certificate how did he get the Presidency? Despite his record numbers in deportation and all his new wars he has not deported enough people or killed them. He has a secret plan to destroy America because he is a Muslim. I know he is because of his skin color and name! I cry every time I hear his Hope and Change! He wants to take my guns! I cry every time I look at my Picture of Palin I have hanging beside my George W Bush picture on my presidential wall. My pastor has shown us how in the Bible Obama is the Anti-Christ!