Om Shitty Om! Gurus, spirituality & new age religious movement bullshit…
I am the real deal & everybody else is fake
Namast… urbation! Children of the garden of Eden!
Before I start to really bullshit you all into becoming my undying followers, its only fair for a sage like myself to tell you the whole truth. If after that, you still stupid enough to fall for it, well it sucks to be you, take it on the chin and wise up as you are old enough.
GURUS
Wake the fuck up you bunch of sad fuckers… There is no god, no sage, no big foot, no E.T., no Conde Dracula, if so I think you guessed… THERE ARE NO GURUS EITHER!, Not in a real sense, man made of course those are, but they don’t exist to help you, guide you or make your life better. They exist however to rob you, fuck you and then leave you at your on devices, in other words back at square one, but this time with a much lighter wallet, while this so call holy men/women live a life of luxury at your expense.
Gurus are man made gods for people who like to see, feel and talk to their gods. It validates better the crap they are paying for (damn I have been in the long line of business my entire life). All with one thing in common; mere mortals with a gift to talk themselves out of any situation and sell a fridge to an Eskimo. Preying on the vulnerable and ingenious mind, the desperate and the innocent, while hiding in most cases a very sordid lifestyle.
You too can see god if you’re high enough…
If you really want an in depth about what goes on behind the scenes of the so called ’Gurus’ there is an online free book on pdf format called “Stripping the gurus” by Geoffrey D. Falk that I highly recommend (Link as follow). http://www.strippingthegurus.com/index.html#stgtoc
So as an atheist I decided to be my very on higher power. Light a joint, get higher than the sun, I am my own guru. Do you want to follow this fucked up sage? Fine by me, just don’t expect that dream job, cure for cancer or a blowjob from Miss Venezuela, I will make you laugh with my bullshit but that’s about it… Om shitty suckers.
Thus spoke Horny Krishna…
SPIRITUALITY
’Religion is for people who don’t want to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who already been through it’. Not sure who is the great mind behind this quote, but, as it happens I heard it once at an AA meeting. The fact of the matter is; if gurus are for people who don’t like gods, spirituality is for people who don’t like established religions. Very different approach in presentation and behaviour but both aiming at the same end result, make money out people with lies, deceit and whatever happens to be available at a certain point and time. Of course not all are bad, after all there are the ones who are 10 times worse, as their mercenary ways to get what they want are quite sickening to say the least. But if we were to compare, spirituality is more palatable that organized religion. Side by side Zen Buddhism with Scientology, Zen Buddhism is a philosophy with serious doctrine based on morals, values and principles, (unfortunately nowadays there are many so called Zen Buddhists, who are nothing more then ’Zen Bullshits’), whereas Scientology is a total fucking farce invented by a prick named L. Ron Hubbard, who even from the grave is one hell of a job creator. Thanks very much Hollywood.
With that im mind I will create my very own spirituality, and it will be interesting to see how many followers I will gain with it. Just keep an eye on this column as I establish my own spirituality. Based on a simple principle that I will follow no one, as am the real deal and everyone else is fake. Thus spoke his holiness the shitty guru Horny Krishna.
A true guru always tells the truth…
NEW AGE RELIGIOUS MOVEMENT
The new age religious movement is cashing in the same way the new religious movement has been for ages, don’t take my word for it, just do a google and the list goes on forever. If all this people can do it, why not a new supreme being my myself? I am in dudes, now that I have stablished my own spirituality I am starting my very own ‘NON RELIGIOUS MOVEMENT’. This is my plan, I am now thinking big here, for the next few entries on this column I will be giving you some insight of my new non religion, its principles, what stands for and what can do for me in the long run. But just like any other religious movement, its man made bullshit, but if you are stupid and gullible enough to fall for it. Fell free and join the party. Just like Jesus Christ or the Dalai Lama I am a simple and humble man, who doesn’t need much to be happy, I sleep good in any royal king size bed I can place my yoga mat on. Apart from that I only have my dick and my stomach to think about. In terms of material things all I care for is: Muff, weed & rock’n'roll.
Until next time dear friends (suckers); old, new and yet to come, I wish you joy, happiness and tofu big mac’s
Yours truly
Horny Krishna
