THE JOE THE PLUNGER MANIFESTO
The war on drugs
What I’m about to say in the next few paragraphs, is nothing new to no one,, but fuck it, its my take on how I see the hypocrisy of the so-called ’war on drugs’. There’s no such thing as a war on drugs, but a war on illegal drugs, in order to push the legal ones for a larger profit to the fifth most powerful industry in the world, the Pharmaceutical industry. Now I don’t mind the bullshit, what really bursts my bladder is the fucking lack of consistency. Just like the war on terror (they killed Bin Laden, meanwhile cock sucking son of a bitch henry Kissinger enjoys retirement), Pharma is the cartel in white coats, who are not interested in cure, as there’s no profit in it. It’s all about finding new ways of removing the symptoms but leaving the cause, because that’s where the money’s at (no, you are not imagining, I’m an idiot, and I am full of shit, but if you manage to last this far, and still reading, you are no better than me and I wish I could feel sorry for you, but I gave up charity work a long time ago, so if you choose to keep on reading or kill yourself, the truth remains the same; It sucks to be you and me, lets deal with it).
Now if you read my last entry of the manifesto, you know I have no time for insurance companies, well, guess what? I trust doctors or any type of health department even less. If Pharma companies are the drug cartels of the legal drug trade, doctors and health professionals are nothing but drug barons/dealers taking backhanders for pushing the latest designer drug on the market, all coming out of glorified crack houses, better known to the public as pharmacies. With no regards for the patient whatsoever, load them with government approved drugs, turning sick people into barely functioning junkies. As long as they can pay, pile them with shit, keeping them sick and acceptably hooked in order to rely on them more and more. Whatever you do, please don’t die, that’s bad for business.
At this point I think its important to emphasize once more that I am not here to make elaborate statements about what’s wrong, how to solve it, give you facts, statistics, and whatever journalists use to fill their articles with, to make themselves seem more interesting. I am here for the ridicule and rant value mainly. If you are here looking to learn something or expect to find in-depth profound points of view, kiss my turd tunnel, you are in the wrong page pal, you wont find any of that in here. So as you know, if anything else I hope this last couple of paragraphs cheers you up a little bit, and makes you day more bearable.
The Pharma industry nowadays hates me, I take no meds for anything, and guess what?, there’s fuck all wrong with me, Why? I hear you asking, because I choose to be my own doctor; I have headache, I smoke a joint, I feel a bit low, I smoke another, I don’t have an appetite, I smoke a couple more, can’t get it up, a couple of tokes does the trick, its the wonder drug, I use it medicinally and recreationally, you don’t like it and that bothers you, go fuck yourself right off, I don’t give a monkey’s ass what you think, its my lungs and I burn them if I want to. No matter how much TV advertisement they put on for the latest crap, I just don’t take it, I choose pot over anything else always, in any shape or form. The pack of lies they put out to abolish competition is just ridiculous, and it’s not only about Cannabis, even about heath food stores and vitamins supplements, every day is a new study that proves vitamin X is bad for Y and supplement W doesn’t do whats suppose to… Fuck you shitheads, who the hell do you think I am?, Listen here, I used to drink 2 bottles of Vodka a day, washed down with 3 packs of cigarettes, plus hands full of whatever pills I could find, do you think the prospects of ODing on vitamin B12 or Zinc fares high on my list of concerns??? I don’t think so either.
We all know that crack, meth, heroin and countless other street drugs of that kind are dangerous and bad news, but so are Oxycontin, Vicodin, Percocet, prozac and a zillion of other legal types with catchy names. Dont worry I am not going to give you an in-depth of how pointless the war on drugs is, how unfair all the criminalization over Marijuana are, and all the dirty tricks of the Pharma industry to have their own way, there are already many books and documentaries on the various subjects, much better and more informative than I could ever try or hope to archive. But I can’t help to feel nauseous at putting a plant like cannabis amongst all the horrible drugs legal and illegal out there, when happens to be a plant with only plus points in its favor. and I can see their point, after all they can’t come up with a synthetic equivalent, so the healing properties must be really that good. But making up lies because profit in more important than saving lives, that’s just way bellow the belt. So Pharma pays and buys lobbyists, congress, senate, newspapers, blogs, journalists and fuck knows who else who’s prepared to lie for money, turning innocent people into criminals on a daily basis, because that’s all money in the bank. And of course, the police plays ball with it, why? Because cops are pussies. Who they rather arrest to justify their pay check, a Cheech Marin lookalike stoner buying a Pizza or a crack dealer with automatic weapons? With that in mind, I now declare a war on legal drugs and the Pharma industry.
That’s it comrades, I am starting a new political movement, the ‘GREEN TEA PARTY’. They can put the death penalty on pot smoking, I still wont stop. There’s no way to reason with greedy pigs, all I can do is say; ‘fuck’em, and hope they all die’. I am not asking for much, after all I don’t want Cannabis legal, nor controlled, just decriminalized (I hate the thought of paying tax on my drugs, fuck that). The world over needs a green tea party movement, enough is enough. For how much longer are you going to take this kind of crap from the powers of be, telling you what you can or cannot do. We need a green revolt, people have been trying for years, explaining these morons the value of hemp, how good it would be for the economy, better for people, better for the environment, but hey guess what?, It affects the darling 1% and they rule the world with money… If only these bastards stop for a second and looked and the potential of hemp alone never mind the THC. You can have almost any use for hemp these days: Hemp condoms, hemp ipads, hemp caviar, hemp toilet paper (so your asshole to get high too), you name it, hemp can provide an equivalent. Time for a green tea revolt, fuck the plunger I want a joint, I am rolling it, and I am fucking smoking it, and fuck you if you don’t like it. Potheads of the world, unite and fight. Die with pride, die for a blunt. We must demand an end to drug tests and let the world know that there are worse crimes than to smoke pot. Because I will smoke it till the day I die. Like i said i hate doctors and a joint a day… keeps the doctor away. I smoke pot and I am never sick, so I am right and Pharma is wrong. I hope I am not alone and more of you Join me for a plan of action. Leave me your suggestions, and let’s get started and get the green tea party off the ground once and for all. As there is more to be done, but one revolution at a time. Lets all unite and wage a war on legal drugs… JUST SAY NO TO PHARMA DRUGS, see if the fuckers like that.
Plunger to the people
Green tea party
Joe the Plunger