And the best place for your ballot is...

Political pearls of wisdom!

Luis Pessoa Featured, Satire, Voting Leave a Comment

NOVUS CANNABIS POPULUS CONGRETGATIO

&

THE TANTRIC MUFF INN TEMPLE OF JOY

Political pearls of wisdom according to

His Holiness the shitty guru Horny Krishna

And the best place for your ballot is…

Namast…urbation suckers!!!

With the elections approaching I decided to shed some light and inspirational positive thoughts to carry you through, because no matter who you vote for you are well and truly fucked so get used to it… Om Shitty Om

‘Democracy is the process by which the people will choose the biggest dick to fuck them over…’

‘Ancient Rome declined because it had a senate. God help you America, how fucked do you think you are with a congress, and a senate???’

We all would like to vote for the better man… But the fucker hasn’t been born yet’

In case you are an undecided voter…

‘Never vote for someone… Always vote against the pricks, meaning all of them…’

‘The US government is up for sale… and you suckers have no biding on it, just the right to fork in the bill’

‘People never lie so much as on a dating profile, job interview, a teenager caught smoking pot or a candidate before an election’

In case you are a dumb as fuck undecided voter…

‘Does who vote decide nothing. Does who rig the counting of the votes decide everything’

‘Vote for the man who promises jack shit… He wont let you down’

‘Having free elections and then paying for the end results, its like paying a hooker to get laid and ended up with crabs as a bonus’

If you happen to be a decided smart voter!

‘An election is nothing more the a gambling auction, organized by thieves, to choose a criminal to rob the masses’

‘Fuck bias, I don’t like or trust the democrats, and a good republican is a dead one…’

‘A politician ia a liar who can talk, representing a political party that’s corrupt, supported by a bunch of imbeciles who can’t think for themselves and love to be fucked over.’

No matter who you choose… You already doomed

‘If voting was any good, they would make it against the law’

‘The decisions are already made up for you even before you place the ballot’

‘You have the power to let them know, veto the vote… Voting counts for nothing”

‘Voting is overrated… Don’t believe the hype’

…and finally but not the least…

‘The only hope for America is a female president. But a real woman, not a chick with a dick like Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice or Hillary Clinton’

Om Shitty Om

Yours truly

His Holiness the shitty guru Horny Krishna

 

Author: Luis Pessoa
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I am a failed chef and failed stand up comedian, and I wish I could say I was a successful alcoholic because my drinking used to be epic, but since I quit drinking I am a failed alkie too, so there you have it. Presently sit down comedian and master of mayhem here at Gonzo Times. The man behind Joe the Plunger and now His holiness the shitty guru Horny Krishna. Eventually I will update this but for now will do... Cherrs and... Om Shitty Om
Luis PessoaPolitical pearls of wisdom!